What are boundaries? They are the limits of our personal space...the point where we tell others "Stop! I don't want you to cross this line." Think of this as being similar to real estate property boundaries...everybody knows were the property begins and ends so they don't violate that boundary, the majority of the time.
Why are boundaries important? Creating and maintaining boundaries gives the person who has them a sense of self-respect. S/he does not feel walked on by others, but respected by family members, friends, and within the community. The person knows what limits s/he has set for others and does not allow them to cross those boundaries.
How are boundaries created? This is based on the person. S/he has to think about what limits to set with others. Things like how much personal space do I need around me before someone is sitting/standing too close? Or how much contact can I handle with people who make me uncomfortable? These are just a few examples. There are many more boundaries that need to be set and a lot of them are individual to the person setting the boundaries.
Who needs to set boundaries? Everyone! Including me.
What happens if someone tries to violate my boundaries? When I have difficulty with someone trying this with me, I gently explain to them that they are crossing the line and I don't like where they are going. At this point the person usually backs off and frequently apologizes. Rarely does it create a bigger problem. When a bigger problem does get created, I leave the situation.
Boundaries provide structure to relationships. Without them, we would be stepping on each others toes with little disregard for the other person's feelings. They are easy to create, but sometimes difficult to maintain because we sometimes fear hurting somebody else's feelings instead of protecting our own. Yet boundaries are important in maintaining our own self-respect.
